In memory of my mother - the Lord took her home!

My mother started her hospital episodes in 2002 before the Chinese New Year when she had a very severe fever and was rushed to the National University Hospital and immediately warded. From there she suffered a number of multiple strokes while resting in the hospital and her condition did not improve. She was transferred to St Luke's Community Hospital for rehab treatment and hopefully can return home after that (that was the medical plan for her) but the latter did not materialize.

She was to spend the rest of her days in St Luke's despite a number of occasions when the social worker from St Luke's wanted us to take her out since St Luke's policy had never been for long-term care. I recalled the first occasion when the social worker wanted me to transfer her was right in the heat of the SARS outbreak in 2003 and I had to go and scout for alternative home support arrangements. We found one Elders Home in the east and when the transfer was supposed to take place, it was by divine intervention that she could not be moved (remember the time when there was a memorandum from Ministry of Health that stipulated no transfer of patients during the SARS period?) and again after the SARS outbreak was stabilize, the subject was broached again. This time I was more prepared and insisted that the doctors approved her transfer and that it was not just the social welfare department's decision. Of course none of the doctors supported the transfer as my mother was still very weak and therefore could not be moved.

So this request for transfer from St Luke's Social Welfare department became quite frequent but we stayed our ground and insisted a medical signoff be given and it never came. Finally, by the grace of our Abba Daddy, the doctor who was treating my dad's dimentia stepped in and being a member of the St Luke's Hospital Board and being familiar with my mother's case, took a strong stand and recommended to the Board that my mother be granted long-term residency for as long as she is alive. Now that is a very powerful mandate and all discussion of discharge were dropped.

Mom had a number of close calls with death during nights but I believed that she pulled through simply because there was something that she had not released in her spirit. She was a very traditional woman brought up in very steep Chinese culture where she believed that the wife cannot pass on before her husband (the stubborn nature in her dictated that) and so she would pull out of her fevers within 24 hours. And it was very painful for the family to see her in that vegetating state and much as we believed in her complete healing (which will in and of itself be a miracle) we soon began to feel that it would be better for her to return home to the Lord and end all those suffering. In fact dad was so grieved with the situation that there was an occasion where he tried to pull her out of her bed to bring her home.

But it was not to be so yet as dad was still alive. And when dad went home on April 07, the family made a decision not to break the news to her yet until we were ready for another funeral. Well, I believed she sensed that dad had gone after a while because he had not gone to visit her. It was a daily routine for dad to visit her between 10:30 AM and 02:30 PM with the maid and after his departure, the maid continued alone so that she can help the nursing staff to groom mom and change her. Although mom could not open her eyes to see, we know she still had a keen sense of touch and not being able to feel the hands of dad stroking her or hearing his voice began to set in (there were a few occasions when we visited her and while we talked with her, she would tear in response).

Without any one of the family actually breaking the news to her about dad's passing, she finally decided to release that burden in her spirit and to rest in the Lord and He took her home to end all her suffering. And when we recalled the whole episode, we could not help but see the hand of Abba Daddy in all His mercy assuring us that they are in a better place. 2 evenings before her actual departure, we were called to the hospital because she developed shortness of breath and a fever came on her and we were advised to prepare for the worst and so when she finally gave up her spirit we were more than ready.

But the amazing thing to me is still the timing of both departures - April 7 for dad and Nov 7 for mom (exactly seven months apart) and both were called home between 07:30 PM and 08:30 PM. To me it spoke of the completeness of His rest and that both my parents could not be separated even unto death - a strong reminder of their marriage vow - till death us do part (except that the parting was only a very short one). And that has greatly encouraged us and will always help us to look beyond our circumstances and see Abba Daddy's hand of grace upon our lives. All glory and honor to Him! Hallelujah!