Handling Arguments

In the wisdom reading of today, Proverbs 25:8-10 stands out
    v8   - do not bring hastily to court, for what will you do in the end if your neighbor puts you to shame?
    v9   - If you argue your case with a neighbor, do not betray another man's confidence,
    v10 - or he who hears it may shame you and you will never lose your bad reputation.

I am being reminded of what a very close friend of mine said when I was growing up - 
   "never engage in an argument, because..."
  - when you lose an argument, you have just lost face but 
  - when you win an argument, you have just lost a friend. 

How true! Over the years I have endeavored to avoid entering into arguments and whenever I do get into some serious discussions and circumstances point me to a potential argument brewing, I have learnt quickly to back off and walk away.

It is always better to walk away and hence never get into the argumentative mood than to regret later for staying too long. Trust me, I had been there before - multiple occasions and have saved both my reputation and my friends.

Relationships in Marriage

When a person believes in Jesus as his Lord and Savior and receives Him into his heart, the Holy Spirit comes and indwells him and with the Lord's presence, he becomes a blessings magnet. Now, imagine what it is like when two believers come together in a marriage and form a family unit - that relationship is doubly blessed since Christ is now not only present in each believer's life but, being united, He become the third cord in that family unit and soon that relationship will begin to flourish.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 tells us, "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken".
So a marriage that is centered around Christ (the third person in the marriage) will be strong (see picture - Three-strand Cord) as each strand twines around the other two and hence strengthens each other. However, looking at the picture on the right (Four-strand Cord), one can easily observe that alternate strands will not touch each other (the two black strands do not touch each other; similarly, the two brown strands never get to meet each other).

   

When a party outside of the marriage relationship enters into the fray, one of the two will become intertwined and 'break away' from the family unit and soon the entire marriage will be weakened.

The same can be shown in the second set of pictures - the picture on the left shows a three-strand cord and because of the way it is being pleated together, it is the strongest rope available. However, when we add the fourth strand into the rope, unless one is very careful in pleating, the cord do become weakened whenever a cross-over is missed.

   

                            
When a new person is added into the family nucleus, the marriage relationship has to be worked on with double vigor else the distraction will impact the tenacity of the marriage. More strands do not automatically mean a stronger cord; unless conscious effort is put in to avoid crowding, the entire rope will be weakened and the cord will have to be discarded or rewoven. This conscious relationship building applies also to members of the family - children can occupy the place once held so lovingly by the spouse and if nothing is done to correct this, precious marriages can start to crumble and disintegrate.